Spectator

I am a mere spectator, now I am in Hyderabad but I used to work in a different company where I had several friends and some of them are still too. There I had a friend called Abhishek. A friend and now for whom I am ashamed.
Abhishek was in my team and we were very good friends to each other. He was married to Smiti and had a little daughter of one and a half years. Smiti belonged to highly rich and sophisticated family of Mumbai based businessman. Abhishek was from a lower middle class family and Smiti had married him when he was a jobless fellow, we can say as usual love is blind. They had eloped and now were staying in Kolkata; we thought everything is fine, as you would think.
Once we came to know Smiti had attempted suicide and had killed her 18 months old little daughter by feeding her toilet acid, I was taken aback. We thought she was a psycho and hated her as much as we could, just imagine a mother kills her daughter, how cruel? We also got to know that Smiti used to doubt on Abhishek and thought he had an extra marital affair however we knew Abhishek was a nice person and he cannot do such an offence, how could a wife say like this and blamed her for her nonsense. In front of police we all spoke in for of him. Smiti’s Parents tried hard to save their daughter but all in vain, she was found as a murderer of an innocent and now she is in a criminal asylum where she will be all her life. The case was resolved and we were satisfied that Abhishek was a now free from the murderer. What a shame on these kind of woman suspects her own husband and kills own child.
Now as matter of co-incidence it was my last day in office and I had to collect my reliving letter, I was going by the lift and it got stuck, I bargained to climb stairs rather than waiting for it to get in the working condition again. I had my letter and was coming down I got to hear something and bent towards the corner and found Abhishek with Lumbini one of our colleagues, was in his arms and she was clung to his shirt, they were kissing each other I was dumb found and didn’t know what to do I walked briskly came to home from that day till today I feel guilty of myself that how cruel I had been to her indirectly that I had also given my report to police and now thought about poor Smiti. I wish this could have been a story just as you might be thinking but it is true and real as you and me. I am and will be guilty all my life!

I still miss…

Now I am married and have kids of mine.

But I still miss the days when I was only 9.

Now I stop fights between my daughters.

But I still miss the quarrels with my brother.

Now ask my kids to study.

But I still miss making my teacher’s comedy.

Now I ask my students in class to keep quiet.

But I still miss dancing in the rainy nights.

People say time is changing.

But I would rather say it’s rotating.

Its true what goes around comes back around!

I am safe.

You are the roof , you are the wall.

You are my home you are my pal.

Let my lips meet yours.

Let me quench the thirst of my past years.

You are my God and I am your slave.

I am alone and I know you are my ultimate cave.

Purpose & Pleasure

I think I was born with a purpose, a purpose to search something, a purpose to search the enlightenment of the heart, but today I find myself lost in the crowd.

In school what I wanted to study could not study, because I was not given such opportunities. In family what I wished to do could not do because I was not allowed to do.

In the fight of agreement, disagreement and opportunities I had already lost my purpose of life.

Someone told me “Your life partner is your life”, I thought maybe he would be able to help me to achieve my purpose in life. The day came and I was married and I came to know … my emotions will be buried like roots of a tree and his pleasure will be given more importance everyday. Just imagine someone coming to bed making you naked and enjoying your nakedness. Is that the thing for which you were born? I don’t know about you, but I thought I was worst treated than pigs in a slaughterhouse.

The purpose was still lost and I came to find a child in my womb. Thoughts came to my mind maybe the child made from my own blood would help me to reach my purpose however he chose his own way and went away. Now I am old and waiting to die I have lost my purpose of life. My request to you is to fight for your own respect and never get dissolved in others pleasure.

Fast concentration means purpose not pleasure

Abused

Oh, Yes am the one who is abused.
Are you never? then you are lucky !
Some hide some confess there is no one to tress.
I had never told anyone neither I wish to.
Because it’s such a shame in itself.
I come from a good family and am going to marry a well to do man.
Whom shall I tell that I am already corrupted, already used when I was only 7 !
I still remember those days ...
There was a suffocation inside, which I always used to hide.
No study and no play, just used to brood around the way.
I still think was that my fault? Because I couldn't say anything.
Was I responsible? Because I suffered in silence.
And as my heart explodes in anger and frustration
There is noting what I can do now.
I can only feel the pain buried in my soul.
My plea to all mothers of little girls,
Please save your little one's and a future mother.
I promise my god that I will save my child.
If he wishes to bless me with a girl child.

To someone special

Do you remember the unforgettable kisses which we shared?
The uncountable nights which we spent together.
The phathomless love which we made with each other.
All comes back to me when we are away.
I feel as if you are inside me.
We become one and join each other for ever.
I feel as if my heart beats on you.
Tell me are you able to distinguish me from you, because we are one.
I become that wet earth and you become that fragrance which comes from within.
I felt as if I am grown up mentally and sexually.
When you come and stand in front of me.
I feel as if you are asking me to melt inside you.
When you look into my eyes I feel as if you are only mine.

A Little Feather

Why God made me?
Why has he provided me with all the luxuries?
Why he gifted me a content family?
Why am I on this earth?
I am a selfish and selfish little girl who does not know anything.
Why he has sent me here?
What I learn is for myself. What I do is for me.
I live for me and my pleasure.
Then why am I living?
I will wait till he answers all my questions…

I feel myself as a left out feather of a forgotten bird.
Without any aim or destination.
As f I a floating in air…
Wherever the wind blows I go with that piece.
I don’t know of any work or place where I could fit myself
What is the value of my existence?
What can a buddy make me of his use?
But.
I am sweet little feather although I am lost.
I could be placed on the hat of a beautiful girl.
Although I am lost I can make a child smile.
And now I feel content in myself.
Be a common girl or a simple feather.

She

A Woman's Heart Is Very Staunch.

Being Myself A Gal,

Though Not A Fully Grown Up.

But On The Edge Of Being So,

I Can Feel That…………

She Represents The Whole Humanity!

When She Caries A Baby,

So Close To Heart,

She Pours Down The Soft Human Milk,

Over The Child,

She Represents The Complete Sense Of Sacrifice!

When She Gives All Of Hers,

And Keeps None For Self.

When She Hugs Her Friend,

She Releases Burden From Those,

Heavy Shoulders Easily,

You Can Only Say That…

It Feels Great!

When She Does So.

But When She Does So,

To Her Own Life Giver,

She Turns To Be Child,

On Her Soft Arms,

And When She Is Sometimes So Close To Her Beloved,

She Makes Him Irresistible & Invites Him,

To Join Her, And Make Her Fuller.

And When I Again Think Of It,

I Find That……………..

She Can Be All This To Her Beloved Too.

She Can Love Him Like A Caring Mother.

She Can Love Him To Release All His Strain.

She Makes A Complete Figure.

And Her Love Becomes Fathomless.

It’s So Deep As An Intense Ocean.

It’s So High Like The Skied Mountains.

Its So Bright Like The Sheen Sunshine.

It’s So Cool Like The Lovely Moon

She Is The Symbol Of Beauty.

Signifying Love And Care.

She Is A Mother.

She Is A Daughter.

She Is A Friend.

She Is A Beloved.

She Is The Woman!!!