Spectator

I am a mere spectator, now I am in Hyderabad but I used to work in a different company where I had several friends and some of them are still too. There I had a friend called Abhishek. A friend and now for whom I am ashamed.
Abhishek was in my team and we were very good friends to each other. He was married to Smiti and had a little daughter of one and a half years. Smiti belonged to highly rich and sophisticated family of Mumbai based businessman. Abhishek was from a lower middle class family and Smiti had married him when he was a jobless fellow, we can say as usual love is blind. They had eloped and now were staying in Kolkata; we thought everything is fine, as you would think.
Once we came to know Smiti had attempted suicide and had killed her 18 months old little daughter by feeding her toilet acid, I was taken aback. We thought she was a psycho and hated her as much as we could, just imagine a mother kills her daughter, how cruel? We also got to know that Smiti used to doubt on Abhishek and thought he had an extra marital affair however we knew Abhishek was a nice person and he cannot do such an offence, how could a wife say like this and blamed her for her nonsense. In front of police we all spoke in for of him. Smiti’s Parents tried hard to save their daughter but all in vain, she was found as a murderer of an innocent and now she is in a criminal asylum where she will be all her life. The case was resolved and we were satisfied that Abhishek was a now free from the murderer. What a shame on these kind of woman suspects her own husband and kills own child.
Now as matter of co-incidence it was my last day in office and I had to collect my reliving letter, I was going by the lift and it got stuck, I bargained to climb stairs rather than waiting for it to get in the working condition again. I had my letter and was coming down I got to hear something and bent towards the corner and found Abhishek with Lumbini one of our colleagues, was in his arms and she was clung to his shirt, they were kissing each other I was dumb found and didn’t know what to do I walked briskly came to home from that day till today I feel guilty of myself that how cruel I had been to her indirectly that I had also given my report to police and now thought about poor Smiti. I wish this could have been a story just as you might be thinking but it is true and real as you and me. I am and will be guilty all my life!

I still miss…

Now I am married and have kids of mine.

But I still miss the days when I was only 9.

Now I stop fights between my daughters.

But I still miss the quarrels with my brother.

Now ask my kids to study.

But I still miss making my teacher’s comedy.

Now I ask my students in class to keep quiet.

But I still miss dancing in the rainy nights.

People say time is changing.

But I would rather say it’s rotating.

Its true what goes around comes back around!

I am safe.

You are the roof , you are the wall.

You are my home you are my pal.

Let my lips meet yours.

Let me quench the thirst of my past years.

You are my God and I am your slave.

I am alone and I know you are my ultimate cave.

Purpose & Pleasure

I think I was born with a purpose, a purpose to search something, a purpose to search the enlightenment of the heart, but today I find myself lost in the crowd.

In school what I wanted to study could not study, because I was not given such opportunities. In family what I wished to do could not do because I was not allowed to do.

In the fight of agreement, disagreement and opportunities I had already lost my purpose of life.

Someone told me “Your life partner is your life”, I thought maybe he would be able to help me to achieve my purpose in life. The day came and I was married and I came to know … my emotions will be buried like roots of a tree and his pleasure will be given more importance everyday. Just imagine someone coming to bed making you naked and enjoying your nakedness. Is that the thing for which you were born? I don’t know about you, but I thought I was worst treated than pigs in a slaughterhouse.

The purpose was still lost and I came to find a child in my womb. Thoughts came to my mind maybe the child made from my own blood would help me to reach my purpose however he chose his own way and went away. Now I am old and waiting to die I have lost my purpose of life. My request to you is to fight for your own respect and never get dissolved in others pleasure.

Fast concentration means purpose not pleasure